Honoria Ravena Read online

  Zarek glared at him. “Keep her warm and watch her while I go feed. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes or so.”

  Laedan’s eyes widened. “What do you mean keep her warm? I don’t like the way you’re looking at me.”

  “Just lie with her for a while.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “How am I looking at you?”

  “Like you’d rather rip me to shreds than watch me get into bed with her. You haven’t looked at me like that in a long time. I definitely don’t like it.”

  Zarek looked away. When he glanced back, his face was a blank mask, but his eyes still smoldered with barely contained anger. “Sorry.”

  “I get it, boss. She’s yours. There was never any contest.”

  The bed dipped as Laedan climbed on. His arms surrounded me; heat engulfed me. Damn, he was warm. “Laedan, if you try anything, I’ll skin you alive.”

  He chuckled in my ear. “Got it.”

  I closed my eyes. Cold lips pressed against my forehead before I heard the door close.

  “I should tell him you kissed me the other night,” I whispered to Laedan.

  He snorted. “Don’t you dare. He won’t kill me, but he might beat me into a sticky paste.”

  My shaking started to subside. I kept my eyes closed, because the room spun when they were open. My head was going to split down the middle. I was sure my stomach was climbing up my throat. Hopefully, Laedan wouldn’t mind when I threw up all over him. It wasn’t a matter of if, but when.

  “How you doing?” he whispered.

  “Well, I quit shaking, so I’m a little better I guess. I think I’m going to throw up soon, though.”

  “That’s all right. I have an iron stomach so I won’t throw up with you, and I’ll just shower later. Hell, I’m already covered in sweat. I’ll have to bathe already. Personally, if I’m going to be covered in your sweat, I’d rather we be doing something else.”

  I ignored that last comment. “How is my brother?”

  He hesitated. “Fine. Worried about you. He’s been told about your condition, but he hasn’t seen you yet. Zarek is going to take him out of the cell soon. He thinks Jason can finally be trusted. Zarek just doesn’t want him to stand in the way if he has to…”

  “Has to what?”

  “Turn you. You’re not doing so well.”

  “I don’t want to be a vampire.”

  Laedan’s laugh was mocking. “That’s really not up to you anymore.”

  I wouldn’t be a vampire. They were monsters. I’d never met one who hadn’t killed at least once. Even Alaric and his brothers were deadly men. Who knew how many lives they’d taken. I refused to hurt anyone. “I’ll get up right now and escape from here.”

  This time Laedan’s laugh was genuine. “I’d really like to see that, baby.”

  I groaned but made no moves to actually attempt it. He was right. I wasn’t up to moving right now.

  A nasty wave of nausea hit me. Saliva flooded my mouth. I shoved Laedan’s arm off me. “I’m gonna hurl.”

  Swinging off the bed, I stood and dizziness swamped me. I fell to the ground on my hands and knees and retched. Hands pulled my hair back. My eye swam with tears.

  “Jesus. Zarek! Get your ass back here.” Laedan’s bark startled me.

  I finally stopped gagging. “What? I thought you had an iron stomach.”

  “I do, but you just threw up blood, so we’ve got problems.” I blinked to clear my vision and spotted red on the floor.

  “My head is killing me.” I tried to lie down headfirst, but Laedan picked me up and moved me, probably to avoid the vomit.

  I slumped onto the floor, and my eyes slipped closed.

  ***

  This time when I woke I couldn’t open my eyes at all. I couldn’t speak or move. I smelled like roses, so at least I knew I was clean. I could hear shouting, but I had to concentrate to make out the words.

  Zarek’s voice managed to penetrate the haze that was my brain. “I fed her from me, but it might not be enough. For a vampire, this poison is nothing.”

  “She’ll hate you. She’ll kill you,” Jason said.

  “She won’t be able to. My magic will be keeping you both alive for a while. Not to mention, I’ll have some control over her. Oh, don’t look at me like that. I’d never use it unless she was going to do something stupid. And it will only be for a limited time. Hopefully, she’ll trust me by the time my control wears off.”

  Heavy footsteps crossed the floor. Someone was pacing.

  “The fact that she’s blood-bonded to me should keep her alive, but it’s not going to. Even if she lives, she’ll be sick and defenseless for a long damned time, if she ever gets back to her full strength. She really can’t afford that. You know better than I do how many enemies she has.”

  “Well, let her decide. She’ll be fully conscious at some point, and then she can choose to become a vampire or not.”

  “She’s not going to become coherent enough to make the decision. She’s dying, damn it! I have to do something.”

  The footsteps neared the bed.

  “No, I won’t let you do this.”

  There was the meaty sound of flesh hitting flesh and then a thud as someone hit the floor with enough force to shake the bed.

  “Stand down, Jason. I can kill you with a thought, boy. I don’t want to, but to save her, I will.”

  I managed to open my eyes just a crack. I saw Jason come to his feet a second before he tackled Zarek. They hit the wall next to the bed and tumbled to the floor, exchanging punches like a couple of bickering teenage boys. Nate just watched them; a small smile curled his lips.

  I tried to tell them to stop, but it just came out as a moan. They both looked up and rushed to my side, shoving each other out of the way to get to me. I would have smiled if I had had the strength.

  Laedan slammed the door open. “What the fuck is going on up here? The customers are complaining about the noise, children. Nate, why the hell aren’t you keeping them apart?”

  “Me? Against two vampires? I don’t think so, wolf.”

  “We’re fighting about whether or not to turn her. Hopefully, she’s about to tell us.”

  I sighed and my eyes closed. When I got them open again, there was another vampire in the room.

  “Now, Jason, I’m about to win this fight. Take him back to his cell, gentleman.”

  They grabbed Jason. He fought, but he really didn’t have a chance against a vampire and a werewolf, with a blood-bonded human as backup.

  “You can’t do this, Zarek. She’ll kill you and I’ll enjoy watching. Let me go. Regan!”

  The door shut and his cries grew muffled. Zarek brushed my hair back from my face. “How are you feeling?”

  It took me three tries to force words from my mouth. “Like shit.” I licked my cracked lips. “Zarek, I don’t want you to turn me. I’ll live. It will take me a while to get back on my feet again. But I’m conscious and lucid.”

  “Which is why I want to do this now. If you go back to sleep, or fall into a coma, you might be too weak to survive the transformation. Even now I’m taking a risk. All my experience tells me you’ll survive. My blood-bonds have survived wounds that would kill lesser vampires, but this poison is affecting you like nothing I’ve ever seen. It’s a risk I’m not willing to take.”

  “Zarek—”

  “I won’t lose you.” I swore I heard a note of pain in his voice. “This is not something I’m willing to debate. I am sorry, Regan.”

  He leaned forward and kissed my throat before his fangs sank in. A tiny bit of adrenaline managed to make it to my brain. I lifted my arms and tried to shove him away. He sat me up and wrapped his arms around me, stroking my back, and kept drinking. I tried to push harder, but he was sapping what little strength I had left.

  A tear rolled down my cheek. “You’re killing me,” I whispered as I beat at his shoulders. I didn’t want an eternity of bloodlust and killing innocent people. The part of me desperate for survival didn’t
care, but what if I didn’t wake up? Not everyone was strong enough to survive the transition, and I was at the weakest I’d ever been.

  He finally drew back. He bit his wrist and then held it to my mouth. I’d never wanted blood like I did then. I was overcome with a thirst for it. I clamped my mouth around his wrist and started to drink.

  And then the world blacked out.

  Chapter Ten

  Fire rushed through my veins. My stomach cramped from hunger. I curled myself into a ball, trying to calm my stomach. I managed to peel my eyes open. It felt like my eyelids had been fused shut. A handsome man’s relieved face smiled tightly down at me.

  I pushed myself up to sitting with trembling arms. “Where am I? What happened?” I croaked. My mouth was as dry as the desert.

  The man brushed my face tenderly, and I jerked back. “Who the fuck are you?”

  I glanced around the dark room and noticed two other men. One, a blond, was sitting on the opposite corner of the bed watching me while a brunet, dressed in all black, stood at the foot of the bed.

  “Why doesn’t she remember anything, Zarek?” From the strained note in the blond’s voice, I could tell he was trying not to shout.

  The man who’d been scrutinizing me finally looked away. “You didn’t remember either, and she had a much harder transformation than you did. Don’t worry, Jason, I know what I’m doing. Come here, Laedan.”

  The brunet at the foot of the bed shook his head, his eyes a little too wide. “Whoa, wait a minute, boss. I didn’t sign up for this. Feeding newborn vampires wasn’t our agreement.”

  “Vampires?” That had gotten my hazy attention. “What do you mean?” I slid farther away from the man called Zarek.

  He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into his lap. I squeaked. He laid a finger over my lips and then stroked my hair. It did little to soothe my frazzled nerves. I tried pushing at the hard arms wrapped around my waist, but he ignored me as if I wasn’t struggling at all.

  Who were these men? They were familiar, but I couldn’t place them. Where was I? Why did I feel so weak? Panic welled in my chest, and I shoved harder at the man who held me. What did they want with me?

  “Laedan, your blood is powerful. She’d have to kill anyone else—”

  “I’m not killing anyone, asshole. You people are freaks,” I screamed in Zarek’s face. “Let me go.” I tried to wriggle out of his arms, but they tightened around me painfully.

  “Stop wiggling that tight little ass all over my lap. I’m trying to keep from getting an erection, but you’re not making it easy. It would be so easy to take you. I’d relish ripping off those little boy shorts and that tank top.” He snarled in my face.

  I sat there stunned as he returned his attention to Laedan. “If she killed someone, it would tear her apart. Please. You’ve fed me before, and some of the women who come through here. I’m too weak, I can’t feed her now.”

  “Yeah, but newborns can kill you. You and those women have control. This one doesn’t.”

  “You really think I’d let her kill you?”

  “Well, no.”

  “It’s settled then.”

  Laedan pulled his shirt out of his pants roughly and started unbuttoning it. “I don’t like this, damn it. I’m not your blood whore. I’m the fucking leader of the wereanimal underground, for Christ’s sake.”

  Zarek nodded. “And this doesn’t change any of that. Besides, you know what they say about us, Laedan.”

  “What do they say?” Jason asked.

  “That we’re lovers, among other things. We’ve shared women, and when I’ve been in dire need, I’ve fed from him, but we don’t fuck each other.”

  “And we don’t share that particular woman.” Laedan nodded at me as he shrugged off his shirt.

  I moaned and looked away from him. My whole body ached. Glass was being shoved through my veins with each pulse of my heart. The hunger gnawing at my gut was driving me crazy.

  Zarek glared at him and cuddled me closer. “No, we don’t.”

  Well, I guess that was some small comfort.

  “You might want to leave, Jason.”

  Jason’s eyes narrowed. “Why?”

  “Do you really want to watch your sister lose the rest of her humanity? Feeding from someone else is the last step. Besides, it can be a very intimate act. It’s why vampires rarely pick someone who isn’t their sexual preference.”

  Zarek smiled, and it wasn’t a nice smile. “But then, you know all about that.”

  A blush crept up Jason’s cheeks. “Okay, so yeah, I slept with the woman I fed from first, but you won’t let her screw him.”

  “Yeah, but I might let her screw me.”

  I slapped Zarek’s bare shoulder so hard that the pop got everyone’s attention. Zarek lifted an eyebrow.

  “I’m not fucking anyone. I’m not drinking anyone’s blood. You’re all freaks.”

  Zarek nipped my ear and whispered, “Oh, you’ll be doing something to make up for that slap, missy. You’re a lot stronger than you used to be. It almost hurt.” He leaned back a fraction to snarl in my face. “And you’re going to have to drink from someone. Your brother waited long enough that he had absolutely no control, and he killed the woman. Granted, she was a piece of work and deserved what she got, but do you really want to do that?”

  I glanced at the man they claimed was my brother. He chewed his lips before giving a subtle nod, avoiding my eyes before he got up and left.

  Zarek sighed and leaned his head against my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Jason…”

  Laedan glowered at Zarek. “You shouldn’t have brought that up. Damn it, Zarek. What happens when that boy goes out and tries to get himself killed?”

  Zarek lifted his head to look at Laedan. “I’ll fix it. He’ll be okay.”

  I glanced back and forth between them. “Won’t someone please tell me what’s going on? Why am I here? Why am I so weak? Why can’t I remember anything?”

  Zarek placed his index finger on my lips to quiet my questions. “Relax. You were very sick, and I had to make you a vampire to save your life. You need to drink Laedan’s blood to get back to full strength. You do want that, don’t you? You’ll remember who you are.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t believe you. Vampires are a myth.”

  He laughed, loud enough to make me jump. “Wow, you really don’t remember anything. We’ll just have to convince you then.”

  Laedan sighed and sank down on the bed in front of me. He grabbed one of my hands and brushed his lips over my knuckles. “You sure we can’t share her?”

  I gaped at him, but they continued to talk around me as if I weren’t there.

  “I’m pretty sure she’d rather kill us both.”

  “She wouldn’t feel that way caught between us.”

  Zarek growled. “Fine, I’ll put it this way. I don’t want to share.”

  Laedan grinned before he licked the pulse point on my wrist. I jerked away from him. He laughed and turned his back to me. He brushed his shoulder-length hair to one side. I stared at his corded neck, the sound of his heartbeat echoing in my head.

  To my horror, my fangs slid free.

  Zarek unlocked his arms from around my waist. “Go on.”

  I shook my head and managed to pry my gaze from Laedan’s throat. “I won’t. This is some kind of wacky nightmare.”

  “It’s not and you will.” Zarek grabbed my chin and roughly forced me to look at Laedan again.

  I squeaked. “You’re hurting me.”

  Laedan turned and his hand clamped around Zarek’s wrist. He let out a frustrated breath. “You have to learn to be gentler. You’re going to drive her away from you. Let go.”

  Zarek’s hand loosened and stroked along my jaw, soothing the pain he’d caused.

  Laedan nodded. “Better, but you still don’t understand her. She’s too stubborn to be forced into something. You’re used to getting what you want, and you’re strong enough to use force when someone won’
t give it to you. But if you want this girl to love you, you have to use gentle persuasion.”

  Zarek glowered at him. “I know how to handle a woman.”

  “I know, which is why I wonder why you handle this one so badly.”

  Laedan pulled me into his lap so I was straddling him. I tensed and leaned away from him until my head bumped Zarek’s chest. I pushed against Laedan’s shoulders as Zarek came to his knees. He slid forward to trap me between them. It was useless. They were both stronger than me. I trembled, my muscles aching. Every time I inhaled, my senses filled with the smell of Laedan’s warm skin. His blood pounded just under the thin, tanned flesh covering his pulse. I couldn’t resist. I pressed my face into the crook of his neck and drew in a deep breath.

  “Good girl,” Zarek whispered in my ear.

  I sobbed. “I don’t understand.”

  His voice turned hard. “It’s instinct. You don’t have to understand it. Bloody humans have to question their instincts. They can never just accept what they want. You’re not human, and you can’t deny yourself. Do it, Regan.”

  “Give her a minute. She’s on the edge, she’ll cave.”

  I reared back from him. There was no way in hell I’d cave. “Asshole.”

  “So much for that, Laedan.” Zarek grunted as he tried to keep me from escaping.

  “Cut my throat,” Laedan burst out.

  Zarek froze while I continued to beat at them and squirm. “What?”

  “Jeez. I see what you meant about trying to avoid getting a hard-on. Damn, woman, stop bucking. And what I meant was just nick my throat. If I have an open wound, she won’t be able to resist.”

  “Hang on to her.” He let go of me, and I tried to break Laedan’s hold. I heard a pocketknife click open. I couldn’t even track the movement, but suddenly Laedan was bleeding. It was just a little bit, but it was enough. I stopped struggling.

  All thoughts rushed from my mind as I leaned forward to lick the little nick in his skin. At the first taste, my senses sharpened and the pain in my muscles ebbed.